Two Ears One Mouth

One of my old pastors used to say "God gave you two ears and one mouth so you could listen twice as much". I've always been a pretty decent listener. I was always in the top 5 during games of Simon Says and with a mother like mine, you needed to do your best to prevent her repeating herself. But one area where I really struggle is listening to what God says to me and what direction to go in my life. I'm a control freak. There, I said it. There have been times in my life where I've had to schedule not only when I would have free time but what I would do during said free time. I've literally put "watch tv" on my calendar. So is it any surprise that when someone says to "let go and let God" I have trouble leaving my entire life and existence to someone other than myself? Not only that, but someone who isn't a someone at all? To someone I can't see, don't understand, don't know how to listen to and just have to have blind faith ...

Is this thing on? I've been struggling with a bit anxiety out of nowhere over the past year and a half so in an attempt to keep my head from spinning I'm going to try my return to writing. I turned 30 in February and it's seriously been my best year. Suddenly I stopped caring so much about things, and more about *gasp* my family and friends. Weird right? But in caring more about people, I also started to care less about their opinions on my life choices. That said, I am going to provide you with a VERY brief rundown of the 3 major life events happening right now: We are buying a house! Maybe... Yay right? Back in October I found this really great house under a lease option contract that we ended up snatching up. It's in a nice, established neighborhood where *most* people own and genuinely take care of their houses. Not at the Hank Hill lawn level but I'm talking seasonal outdoor decorations and it just happens to be the neighborhood other parents bring thei...

So now I live in Louisville and have a place to live and a job so the time consuming myself with looking for a place to live and a job is now vacant and I don't know what to do so I'm considering blogging again. How's that for a sentence? Anyway, currently: Current Music: I have been way into the Justin Timberlake Pandora station lately but I've also been listening to the Undisclosed podcast because I'm apparently stuck in 2014 and just finished Serial like a month ago. Current Guilty Pleasure: Bravo TV. I think I'm watching like 4 Bravo shows right now. I should probably be embarrassed but I'm not. Not at all. Current Drink: Besides a ton of water because it's so effing hot here right now (and apparently everywhere) I'm way into Trader Joe's Rooibos and Honeybush tea. This is a leftover from a little elimination diet I did (did I ever mention that?) in the spring. As part of it I wasn't allowed to use any sweeteners or drink any caffei...

Sometimes my thoughts get really overwhelming and when that happens I usually have to do something active and relatively creative. I've been using coloring books since before they were cool and strangely baking is still a big go-to for me but there's also writing. Today while lamenting to the husband he suggested I write a blog to try to just get shit out. So that's what I'm doing. We are moving back to Louisville. Yay? I guess that's still TBD. I love Louisville, I really do and I have for years but like a weird, slightly dysfunctional, long term relationship, love just wasn't enough. I felt trapped and suffocated. I had created this identity box for myself and while it worked for a while it eventually turned into my coffin. It was tiny and I didn't feel like it could fit everything I wanted to be a part of my identity. 15 months ago I was exercise and non-profit worker Rennay. That's it. When we moved I realized it was a true clean slate. Absolutely ...

April was a weird month. I finished school at the very end of March and spent about 2 weeks being unemployed and dramatic before getting a call from my externship site offering me a job which I obviously took. I'm now working strictly on the pastry side which has been fun but I must admit I miss bread a little. Anyway, working 10 hour shifts is hard on the body so it's taken me some time to adjust meaning I haven't been running or working out much in the traditional sense. But I figure being on my feet for at least 9 1/2 hours at work and slinging 50 lb bags of dead weight around counts for something. There were some family issues that popped up in April too that were less than ideal but the month ended with me and T hosting 3 out of town guests in our apartment for a few days. Exhausting but so amazing at the same time. One of those guests was my sister and bestie who flew out to run the Eugene Half with me. She's about finished with nursing school but needless to...

This will be a quick one. I've always heard the whole "if you don't blog/facebook/instagram about it, did it even happen?" thing so in my case, I've done essentially nothing for months. This is not true. You know how I go really long spans without blogging? Because sometimes life is better spent being lived than written about? Yeah, kind of the same with the whole exercise thing right now. I started this post a loooooong time ago and am just getting around to finishing it so it's interesting that it's still so relevant. I'm currently training for the Eugene Half Marathon (which was originally going to be marathon #4) and doing Orangetheory once a week which is not exactly nothing. I've posted a few somewhat obligatory #gymselfie pics on instagram but in general I've just been doing my thing and not talking about it much. I follow the instagrams of numerous athletes, almost all amateurs and really enjoy them so don't think I'm agains...

I'm currently on externship at a super cool cafe called Roman Candle Baking Co . in Southeast Portland.They're open for breakfast, lunch and dinner and on the baking side we make pastries and breads and since I've only been there for 2 weeks I'm sure there's a lot more we make that I haven't come across yet. My favorite things to do in school were bread and laminated dough (aka puff pastry aka delicious, flaky pastries like croissants) and luckily that's a lot of what they do at Roman Candle. Just for kicks, here's a little peek into what my days have looked like so far... 1 2:30 am Wake up time! Alarm goes off and I get up, say goodnight to T who is usually going to bed around this time and get ready for the day. Do some stretches, nibble on something, brush my teeth and get my caffeine drip started. Really, I just start drinking Cherry Limeade Nuun Energy . By 1:20 am I'm on my way into the city. I seriously love when the streets are t...

I don't remember when it was that I heard about Bend, Oregon for the first time but whenever it was I instantly knew I needed to go there. I assume it was from a blog and probably from Sweaty Emily or Sarah OUAL . It wasn't very long ago that I heard about this magical place with it's mountain views and bright sunshine but when we moved to Oregon I set immediately to planning a trip to my homeland. I really had no background on Bend and didn't know anything about it aside from the beautiful photos I'd seen on insta and beyond. We planned the trip for our anniversary weekend and I high fived myself again for planning a September wedding date because the weather is pretty much perfect everywhere that time of year with central Oregon being no exception. It's about a 3 hour drive from Portland to Bend but you get off the highway around Salem (roughly 40 miles south) and ride on a mostly 2 lane road the rest of the way. The weather switched regularly between clou...

Man oh man has moving west changed my life for the better. I moved out here planning to find a nonprofit or public relations job, make a nice little salary and settle into my 9-5 and hellishly long commutes from the burbs to the city. Such a pretty day today! #mthood #pdx #portland #pnw #lovewhereyoulive #nofilter #oregon A photo posted by Rennay Cooke Marshall (@rnay225) on Jan 10, 2016 at 3:39pm PST Life has a way of saying no to your best laid plans. I started out working from home for a database company based in Louisville and did a pretty good job of getting up early, getting dressed and settling into a work day. The summer was absurdly hot and since the majority of Oregonians (especially in apartments) don't have ac it made for some really miserable work days. I tried not to turn on the TV much while I was working and for a while we didn't have cable so that was pretty easy but database work isn't always the most exciting so I gave in every now and...

For the past couple of years I've dreamed of becoming a weekender, aka those people who seem like they have plans or do something fun every weekend. Ladies and gentlemen, I think I'm doing well so far. Working from home has its benefits for sure but a huge downfall is a lack of interaction with the outside world. If I wanted to I could quite literally never use my car all week. In fact, I could get by with only leaving the house to walk the dog and maybe get the mail. But even for as introverted and socially weird I am I still can't live like that so I make it a point to go out most days. But weekends are another story. I finally have The Colonel home to talk to me AND there's always something to do around here. Saturday was the lazier of our days. The Colonel hurt his foot a little in kickboxing so we kept it low key. He slept late and I got up at my normal time, walked the dog then cuddled on the couch with my book for a few hours. Love. Then we went to a matinee ...

I've been wanting to write a blog for quite a while but was waiting until I was in a great mood so it would be upbeat and fun! Unfortunately the times that I'm in a great mood are when I'm not anywhere near a computer or device and walking along some tree lined path/finding rivers/staring at mountains and incredible scenery while driving somewhere. In short, the Northwest is incredible and I absolutely love living here. BUT location alone doesn't change your entire life (although it seems like it would) so I'm still battling my regular issues of career, my ever changing mood and finances as we work on the moving rebound. Living far away is hard. It's kind of like I died. I don't yet have a busy enough life to distract myself in the day to day so not getting texts or calls or messages from my friends back east makes me feel lonely. The show must go on and I'm sure you are absolutely dying to know what I'm doing right now so thanks to Pinterest I hav...

Well hello there from your friendly neighborhood Oregonian! I think that's what people in Oregon are called. I may need to confirm that or wait until someone says it so I know without having to ask. Anyway, thought now would be a good time to pop in and let you know that I'm alive and well and have been living in Oregon for about a week now. I'm sure some of you think you're interested in a recap of the road trip but trust me, you're not. It was quite long and quite boring. I'm not one who loves a road trip anyway so loading me up for 5 days wasn't exactly thrilling. Here's a quick rundown for you though, just in case you don't believe it happened: Day 1: Louisville to Kansas City We'd hardly crossed into Indiana before I started crying but luckily it didn't last long. It took forever for us to leave and starting out 3 hours behind wasn't exactly how I wanted to begin the journey but it really wasn't a big deal. We made it to th...