This week has been a down week. I've had a lot of good days in a row so it was really only a matter of time before I went back down my roller coaster. But with that said at least I'm due to go back up soon. I've been down for a few reasons but can't really pinpoint much. I know that I really miss school. I love school and learning and I always have. Yes, I know I'm a big nerd but it's cool to be a nerd when you're making money doing it. I would love to study primates and anthropology but I just can't 100% nail down what I want. It doesn't help that I love my job! It's stressing me out right now because I'm just not good at it. I have no idea what I'm doing and I know that I'm learning but it's frustrating because I'm used to working hard and doing well. I'm also trying to get back into boot camp and considered doing one for people who have 50+ pounds to lose. Apparently I look different to everyone else than I do to myself. I'm very aware that I'm almost 200 pounds yet I'm assuming I don't look like that to anyone other than myself. Some days I think I'm a fat gross slob and other days I'm fine with myself...relatively. But I still and always will eat pizza. That's non-negotiable. Sorry for a boo hoo post. Just a bad week. But like they say, what goes down must come...up?
I figure it's about time to put this out there and I'm pretty sure if you know me really well, you won't be surprised by any of what I have to say. I've been having a lot of issues lately. I've been working hard with my counselor to determine who I really am and what brings me true joy in life and it's been surprising, frustrating, difficult, fun, exhausting, enlightening, exciting and hard....to sum it up in a few words. I spent some time in Puerto Rico back in March and finally got back into doing some writing while I was out there. It wasn't anything long and certainly not anything particularly newsworthy but it made me feel good. I enjoy writing. When I was young I used to write short fiction stories on my mom's computer whenever I had free time and though a lot of them remained unfinished, they were always fun for me and surprisingly effortless to compose. Blogging has never quite been the same as my true writing and I've been working hard t
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