Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Prendo Molte Decisioni Difettose

I love Italian. Gorgeous language.

Anyhow, as the title says (for anyone who reads Italian) I make a lot of bad decisions. My last post was all about how much I love fostering and I think life is funny in how quickly it changes. Today is not a good day to be a foster mom, today is also a day I realize how selfish I can really be sometimes. Every time I foster an animal (or two) it's always MY decision. I simply say to Tyler something along the lines of, "Oh my gosh! Tyler they need someone to foster (insert foster pet)! Look how cute! Oh my gosh, we need him/her/them! I'm gonna get him/her/them!" There's no "Can we", "Do you want", "What do you think of", "Should we" and worst of all there's never really a "we". I'm not a "we" person. I don't discuss details of my relationships or feelings and that's how I've always been and always will be. You'll probably never read about what Tyler and I did for said holiday, what we got each other for said occasion or how we spent a particular evening/day. I don't think this is something I should change about myself, but I do think that it's something I need to be aware of and something that occasionally needs to be addressed.

Back to fostering. As Fuzz continues to pee every 20 minutes on the floor (though to her credit, not on the carpet) and Tyler continues tot get angrier and angrier I realize that this idea could have been a mistake. I am always thinking about others. Other animals in particular. I became a vegetarian for that reason. I rescued TJ and Armani for that reason. And I've fostered Little Black and Little Blonde, Little Fluffy (Fluff) and his sister, and now Fuzz for that same reason. But I never think about others the way I should, as in, the others in my life and more importantly, the other PEOPLE in my home. I do everything for me and that's something I need to change. Don't worry, I'm not ready to walk down the aisle or anything but I really need to start becoming a "We" instead of just a "Me". And that's hard for someone like me. I thrive on independence. If I'm proud of anything about myself it's my independence. And I think that's what I'm afraid of losing.

I don't know if this blog makes any sense. I had a really big Strawberry Daiquiri with dinner tonight. Well I guess before dinner. *insert marketing plug for El Nopal*

1 comment:

  1. Patricia L GrandinettiFebruary 17, 2011 at 11:56 AM

    Boy does what you're saying sound too familiar. I'm the same way and have always been told that "It's always about you". This I know is NOT good and can/will effect your relationships. I consider myself independent which is OK but I should be mindful of others regarding decisions that I make. It has been tough and I'm still trying because when you find someone that can put up with your selfishness (but not for long) you consider yourself blessed. I hope you work harder on your decisons and consider if the shoe was on the other foot. How would you feel? Would stick around? And for how long if things didn't change for the better? Been there and still working on ME. Good Luck Dear Niece of mine.