Skip to main content

Female Problems

Don't worry, you'll get your race recap soon...hopefully. But I'm currently in the midst of a quarter life crisis seeing as I've just hit a quarter century old and I'm really starting to see how hard it is to be a woman sometimes. Sure there are all kinds of benefits and I definitely wouldn't change it for the world. But on the other hand, a woman's accomplishments always seem to have a slight negative undertone.

Over the weekend I did my second half marathon (duh) and got a lot of positive feedback and comments regarding this accomplishment. When I was accepted into grad school I got some positive feedback and when I told people about my trip to Peru this summer (did I tell you all I'm going to Peru this summer?) I also received the standard "congrats!" and "good luck!" comments. I appreciate that more than you'll ever know. However, I am constantly being questioned and pressured about babies and marriage. I get accepted into graduate school/run a half marathon/travel the globe and get "Oh that's nice. But when are you getting married?" or "That's good but what about The Colonel (and no, they don't call him The Colonel)?" Or my personal favorite, "Good thing you're getting all of that out of your system now before you get married and have kids." Let me just clarify, my bucket list and personal list of accomplishments does not include marriage or children. It never will. To me and in my life (let's remember before getting all huffy that we're talking about ME, not ALL WOMEN) getting married and having kids aren't accomplishments. I know there are people who have to work at getting pregnant and you certainly have to work at keeping a marriage together and if that's what you want for your life then you should be proud! But that is your life and not mine.

The point is that people can't continue to push their own ideas of success onto others and expect everyone to agree. We all have our own definitions for a successful life and that's how it should be. If success for everyone meant Ph.Ds and tenure track positions we'd run out of jobs quick. If everyone's success came in the form of 4 kids and a dog we'd run out of food (and possibly dogs). Life is a two way street and you never know exactly where the other cars are coming from or where they've been. You don't know if they've had a few flats along the way or been pulled over and held up or if it's been raining and they have the one bad wiper blade. Sometimes you'll pass people and who knows, you may even make a u-turn to follow their lead but remember that you're all in separate cars and that they're in control of their own journey regardless of what you think.


  1. It sucks that you do all this awesome stuff and people can't just be happy for you! I HATE the "get it all out of your system now" crap. I'd like to have an exciting and fun life the whole time, thanks. Also, if all these people basically think life ends and stops being an adventure with kids and marriage, then WHY do they want you to sign up for that?! Craziness.

    I am super excited for you and Peru! Can't wait to read your race recap! AND, as long as you and The Colonel are in a happy and healthy relationship, then I'm thrilled for you! :)

  2. I will always be super proud of you, you continue to challenge yourself and work hard and always give 150%. I don't like that people want to force their idea of accomplishments on you. I'm glad you went and did the half marathon and I know you'll have a blast in long as you don't drink the water!

  3. Yeeeeeah, it sucks that people are making comments like "when are you getting married" and "get it out of your system before the kids." I just turned 35 (today actually!) and I've never wanted kids and my husband and I are quite happy with that, thanks. I don't know if we would have officially gotten married were it not necessary for our immigration status. (Common law isn't quite "legal" enough.) Sadly, the comments come even more frequently the older you get. It's like people get so desperate for you the closer you get to 35 - 40, you know, "better get preggers before it's too late..." I have other plans, just like you, and they don't include children. (And like you, they involve cats and dogs!) I agree there is a lot more to life than marriage and kids. You're doing everything right!

  4. [...] in the midst of? Have I hidden this at all? I mean, I probably didn’t hide it so well in this post…maybe it’s become more apparent through my lack of posts. Or maybe not. Maybe [...]


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Year 30

Is this thing on? I've been struggling with a bit anxiety out of nowhere over the past year and a half so in an attempt to keep my head from spinning I'm going to try my return to writing.

I turned 30 in February and it's seriously been my best year. Suddenly I stopped caring so much about things, and more about *gasp* my family and friends. Weird right? But in caring more about people, I also started to care less about their opinions on my life choices. That said, I am going to provide you with a VERY brief rundown of the 3 major life events happening right now:

We are buying a house! Maybe... Yay right? Back in October I found this really great house under a lease option contract that we ended up snatching up. It's in a nice, established neighborhood where *most* people own and genuinely take care of their houses. Not at the Hank Hill lawn level but I'm talking seasonal outdoor decorations and it just happens to be the neighborhood other parents bring their kids t…

Burn the Past

One of my old pastors used to say "God gave you two ears and one mouth so you could listen twice as much". I've always been a pretty decent listener. I was always in the top 5 during games of Simon Says and with a mother like mine, you needed to do your best to prevent her repeating herself. But one area where I really struggle is listening to what God says to me and what direction to go in my life. I'm a control freak. There, I said it. There have been times in my life where I've had to schedule not only when I would have free time but what I would do during said free time. I've literally put "watch tv" on my calendar. So is it any surprise that when someone says to "let go and let God" I have trouble leaving my entire life and existence to someone other than myself? Not only that, but someone who isn't a someone at all? To someone I can't see, don't understand, don't know how to listen to and just have to have blind faith…

Guess Who's Back

Sometimes my thoughts get really overwhelming and when that happens I usually have to do something active and relatively creative. I've been using coloring books since before they were cool and strangely baking is still a big go-to for me but there's also writing. Today while lamenting to the husband he suggested I write a blog to try to just get shit out. So that's what I'm doing.

We are moving back to Louisville. Yay? I guess that's still TBD. I love Louisville, I really do and I have for years but like a weird, slightly dysfunctional, long term relationship, love just wasn't enough. I felt trapped and suffocated. I had created this identity box for myself and while it worked for a while it eventually turned into my coffin. It was tiny and I didn't feel like it could fit everything I wanted to be a part of my identity. 15 months ago I was exercise and non-profit worker Rennay. That's it. When we moved I realized it was a true clean slate. Absolutely n…