Two Ears One Mouth

Ugh today was horrible! I should've known after I woke up late, which to a time nazi like me is like intentionally killing puppies and kittens. Basically unheard of and disgusting. After my late wake up things just got worse. So bad in fact that when I arrived in the parking garage at work (again, late) I irrationally burst into tears. The strange part was that I just could not get myself together. Long story short, today was just awful. But I always try to remember that I've been through worse, it could be worse and for some people it is worse. It's not easy to think like that but sometimes you just get to the point that you have to. After years and years of battling depression to the point when I literally couldn't cry anymore, I realize that sometimes I just need to chill and stop taking things and myself so seriously. Easier said than done but it's a necessary evil. I need to stop should-ing all over myself (in the words of Sex and the City) and just accept life...

This week has been a down week. I've had a lot of good days in a row so it was really only a matter of time before I went back down my roller coaster. But with that said at least I'm due to go back up soon. I've been down for a few reasons but can't really pinpoint much. I know that I really miss school. I love school and learning and I always have. Yes, I know I'm a big nerd but it's cool to be a nerd when you're making money doing it. I would love to study primates and anthropology but I just can't 100% nail down what I want. It doesn't help that I love my job! It's stressing me out right now because I'm just not good at it. I have no idea what I'm doing and I know that I'm learning but it's frustrating because I'm used to working hard and doing well. I'm also trying to get back into boot camp and considered doing one for people who have 50+ pounds to lose. Apparently I look different to everyone else than I do to myself...

A few interesting things have happened lately and by interesting I mean just mildly interesting and probably only to me. As you may or may not know, as part of my new job I work at Bingo on Sundays and Thursdays. Well on Thursday, homegirl comes in and buys 11 packs to play on. Each pack has 18 faces. Thus, homegirl was playing bingo on 198 different cards. Some of the people I see are fascinating enough that Tyler and I have decided to pitch the secret life of bingo goers as a tv show to A&E and TLC.  I'll keep you updated on our progress. Anyhow, back to my cooking. The other night I made the most delicious dinner I've ever managed. Unfortunately, it was a salad so I don't really know if I get to take credit. I got these great salad choppers from pampered chef so thankfully I can chop my Green Bean Delivery greens much easier and I can buy bunches and full heads as opposed to chopped greens. So I put together a few types of lettuce and spinach with celery, onions and ...

So I'm trying out this cooking thing in addition to just baking. You may or may not know of my dream to become a pastry chef but lately I've been thinking about trying my hand at cooking actual foods. My friend Jen turned me on to a company called Green Bean Delivery and they deliver fresh produce to your home for about the same cost as buying them at the grocery store. So I got my first delivery and OMG was it amazing! Last night I tried to make just a simple vegetable soup with grilled cheese (ham and cheese for Tyler) and it turned out wonderfully! I decided to slice, season and roast the veggies first for about 30 min then add them to the broth for about an hour. As not to jinx it, I am currently baking a gluten-free banana bread. The soup was also gluten-free. My sister has a gluten issue, possibly so it's been fun trying to find things to bake for her. I'm surprised at how many gluten free recipes are also dairy-free and vegan friendly. I'm also trying out eg...

So finally, Finally, FINALLY my hard work and six internships have paid off! I will now be working in development for the Kentucky Opera and could not be happier. I'm excited to get into what I went to school for and into what I will actually be good at. I'm sure it will have it's stress and ups and downs like every job but it's what I want to do and that's what I'm excited about. Lame blog post, I know, but I don't really have anything else to say. If anyone would like to celebrate with me just let me know! :)

I wish I could come up with a more clever title but sometimes sacrifices need to be made. It's a plus that I'm even blogging at all actually. Anyhow, let me explain... For the past, I don't know, 6 or 7 months I really haven't been myself. I've been constantly exhausted, constantly irritated, unmotivated and gluttonous. We also won't even get into the constant headaches. It turned into a cycle. Depressed because I've gained so much weight, which lead me to eat more, which lead to more depression, which lead to no energy, which lead to less exercise, which lead to more weight gain and eventually just got to giving up (unmotivated). Who was I becoming???? I worked 4 jobs and was a full time student for years during college! I studied every day for months and took the LSAT! I ran a freaking marathon and woke up at 5:30 in the morning 6 days  a week to do it! And now I couldn't even WALK a mile. Every day it was the struggle of all struggles to get me out of...

"Jealousy is all the fun you think they had..." is quite possibly the best quote I've heard in a long time. I've never heard it before today but it will for now on be something I'll try to remind myself of. I spend SO MUCH TIME as an outsider. I look at people laughing and at facebook pictures and at reality tv and see people just having the time of their lives, living these lavish lifestyles. People who don't suck at their jobs, who are using their degrees, who are capable of just being grateful for things like getting a bouquet of flowers instead of being mad that they cost too much money (even if they did in fact cost too much)... This post has taken me a really long time to write. During my drive home I was thinking of what I wanted to write about tonight to distract my mind from the fact that my car allegedly needs more than $600 worth of maintenance and is sort of like driving with a funnel cloud directly over you that serves as a constant reminder of im...