Skip to main content

And Then it Was Almost Race Day...

Can somebody please explain to me how it's July 11th?

If I feel this crazy before a half iron relay it's probably for the best that I wimped out of Raleigh! I've been cruising along all week feeling pretty ok, even this morning I was alright. And then I got on the internet.

It's that typical pre-race panic that accompanies every race but this one is on roids. Probably because this is something I've never done before. So it's like the first time all over again, except I think I'd forgotten what it felt like.


But then I find a calm when I think back to my very first open water swim. I can now look back on it with a smile and a sense of pride unique to that experience and swimming in general. I posted yesterday on my various social media accounts about how far I've come as a swimmer. I still have trouble typing that without quotes. When I first tried this swimming for fitness thing out I couldn't make it 25 meters. I couldn't tread water worth a damn so the thought of not being able to touch the ground was paralyzing (never good when you're surrounded by water). I was over 20 pounds heavier than I am today and ripped my first bathing suit because it turns out it fit just a bit too closely. I didn't have confidence. I wouldn't look anyone at the pool in the face. I was always completely covered by a towel unless I was submerged. I bought goggles from WalMart because I was afraid of being judged in a store for "real swimmers".


I was also very brave.

Despite all of those things I continued on. I still went to the pool crazy early in the morning. I still showed up to the swim and actually completed it. And tomorrow won't be much different. I've put in the work, I've probably skipped a workout I shouldn't have, I'll have all of those nerves and butterflies and will probably end up swimming a mile and a half by taking the widest turns possible to avoid contact (which will still happen). And then I'll finish. Before I know it my fingers will scrape the sand, I'll stand up and jelly-legged run up the beach (Baywatch style) into transition and pass off my chip to our wonderful cyclist.

And then I'll want more.


Even when you "know" how things will go there's still always a jitter or two. And if there weren't why would you bother doing it?

That Sunscreen song said "Do one thing everyday that scares you."

Looks like I've already gotten that squared away for tomorrow.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lovin the Hills Race Report

Guess what I did this weekend??? I was a very good girl and asked my coach very nicely if I could please please please do the Lovin' the Hills 6 mile trail race and because he's the best he gave me the green light to participate . So, I did my very first trail race on Saturday! I'm not necessarily a stranger to trails but I definitely wouldn't say we're friends. Trail running goes on the same list as all of those really great athletes I "know" and am Facebook friends with and want to be able to be real friends with but I'm too intimidated to try. You know what I mean right? Anyway, I've run trails before and volunteered at many a trail race but I've never actually "raced" myself so this was going to be a fun new experience. The site wasn't far from my house and since I'd waited to sign up for various reasons, I didn't have to get up too too early to get there in time for race day registration. I drove to Jeffer

My Life is Awesome

Do you ever just wake up, take a big breath of fresh air and feel totally grateful to be alive? Ok, so I don't. But I also don't wake up wishing I hadn't anymore and that is certainly something to be grateful for. You see, I went through a very long, very dark phase in my life where every day was not a blessing, I couldn't enjoy a pretty day and I begged the earth to swallow me whole. I had things on the horizon and did a pretty damn good job of faking every normal human emotion so no one knew what was going on. The only one I didn't have fooled was myself and unfortunately at that time, mine was the only voice I heard and the only opinion that mattered. Without going into detail I'll just say that there was a point when I hit rock bottom. And as I sat there and finally felt solid ground under me I realized that I was no longer falling. What was more important was I realized the true benefit of rock bottom, the ability to put your feet on the ground. When I

A Sad Announcement

It is with a very heavy heart that I make an announcement. Because this is where I spend so much time recapping my races and weight loss struggles and successes, it seems that this is where the announcement needs to be made. I told The Colonel earlier this evening when I got home from school close to tears and I need to make it official before I change my mind. I will not be doing an olympic triathlon this year. Sounded much more serious than that, didn't it? Well all joking aside, it is serious to me. In my mind, I'm now a quitter. I'm a wimp. I'm giving up on my goals and soon will start giving up on all of them. This isn't the case of course but for now it's really hard for me to be rational. I am a goal setter and rarely has there ever been a goal I didn't *eventually* reach. So for me to seriously and actually "give up" is heartbreaking. I'm also abandoning my quest to lose 40 more pounds this year. It would be great if it happened, but I