Skip to main content

And Then it Was Almost Race Day...

Can somebody please explain to me how it's July 11th?

If I feel this crazy before a half iron relay it's probably for the best that I wimped out of Raleigh! I've been cruising along all week feeling pretty ok, even this morning I was alright. And then I got on the internet.

It's that typical pre-race panic that accompanies every race but this one is on roids. Probably because this is something I've never done before. So it's like the first time all over again, except I think I'd forgotten what it felt like.


But then I find a calm when I think back to my very first open water swim. I can now look back on it with a smile and a sense of pride unique to that experience and swimming in general. I posted yesterday on my various social media accounts about how far I've come as a swimmer. I still have trouble typing that without quotes. When I first tried this swimming for fitness thing out I couldn't make it 25 meters. I couldn't tread water worth a damn so the thought of not being able to touch the ground was paralyzing (never good when you're surrounded by water). I was over 20 pounds heavier than I am today and ripped my first bathing suit because it turns out it fit just a bit too closely. I didn't have confidence. I wouldn't look anyone at the pool in the face. I was always completely covered by a towel unless I was submerged. I bought goggles from WalMart because I was afraid of being judged in a store for "real swimmers".


I was also very brave.

Despite all of those things I continued on. I still went to the pool crazy early in the morning. I still showed up to the swim and actually completed it. And tomorrow won't be much different. I've put in the work, I've probably skipped a workout I shouldn't have, I'll have all of those nerves and butterflies and will probably end up swimming a mile and a half by taking the widest turns possible to avoid contact (which will still happen). And then I'll finish. Before I know it my fingers will scrape the sand, I'll stand up and jelly-legged run up the beach (Baywatch style) into transition and pass off my chip to our wonderful cyclist.

And then I'll want more.


Even when you "know" how things will go there's still always a jitter or two. And if there weren't why would you bother doing it?

That Sunscreen song said "Do one thing everyday that scares you."

Looks like I've already gotten that squared away for tomorrow.

Comments

  1. You'll do great! Cant wait to hear how it goes!!!!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Year 30

Is this thing on? I've been struggling with a bit anxiety out of nowhere over the past year and a half so in an attempt to keep my head from spinning I'm going to try my return to writing.

I turned 30 in February and it's seriously been my best year. Suddenly I stopped caring so much about things, and more about *gasp* my family and friends. Weird right? But in caring more about people, I also started to care less about their opinions on my life choices. That said, I am going to provide you with a VERY brief rundown of the 3 major life events happening right now:


We are buying a house! Maybe... Yay right? Back in October I found this really great house under a lease option contract that we ended up snatching up. It's in a nice, established neighborhood where *most* people own and genuinely take care of their houses. Not at the Hank Hill lawn level but I'm talking seasonal outdoor decorations and it just happens to be the neighborhood other parents bring their kids t…

Burn the Past

One of my old pastors used to say "God gave you two ears and one mouth so you could listen twice as much". I've always been a pretty decent listener. I was always in the top 5 during games of Simon Says and with a mother like mine, you needed to do your best to prevent her repeating herself. But one area where I really struggle is listening to what God says to me and what direction to go in my life. I'm a control freak. There, I said it. There have been times in my life where I've had to schedule not only when I would have free time but what I would do during said free time. I've literally put "watch tv" on my calendar. So is it any surprise that when someone says to "let go and let God" I have trouble leaving my entire life and existence to someone other than myself? Not only that, but someone who isn't a someone at all? To someone I can't see, don't understand, don't know how to listen to and just have to have blind faith…

Guess Who's Back

Sometimes my thoughts get really overwhelming and when that happens I usually have to do something active and relatively creative. I've been using coloring books since before they were cool and strangely baking is still a big go-to for me but there's also writing. Today while lamenting to the husband he suggested I write a blog to try to just get shit out. So that's what I'm doing.

We are moving back to Louisville. Yay? I guess that's still TBD. I love Louisville, I really do and I have for years but like a weird, slightly dysfunctional, long term relationship, love just wasn't enough. I felt trapped and suffocated. I had created this identity box for myself and while it worked for a while it eventually turned into my coffin. It was tiny and I didn't feel like it could fit everything I wanted to be a part of my identity. 15 months ago I was exercise and non-profit worker Rennay. That's it. When we moved I realized it was a true clean slate. Absolutely n…