More Taper Crazies

Anyone who has ever "properly" tapered for a race has to know the feeling(s) I'm having right now. Everything seems off somehow. I can't keep my focus, can't make a decision and can't really answer any questions about anything other than my fueling plan.

In case you missed it, I'm running the Indianapolis Marathon in 5 days and however long the little countdown clock on the sidebar says. My training got all out of whack from that little wedding and I've been quietly stressed about it for at least a month. I got in every long run (except for the 2nd 16 miler, I just jumped to 18 and went on from there) and added lots of 10 milers to make up for the mid-week runs I just could never seem to get to but I still feel undertrained and not quite ready. I'm beginning to think that's a normal feeling for anyone who races so I'm trying not to let it bother me.

Hopefully writing something, anything will help me empty out my cluttered little head and shine some light into my slightly enlarged heart.

Kona

Kona is my favorite thing so it shouldn't be surprising that Saturday was spent watching Kona in almost its entirety. I went for a late run (got started around 10am) with my sister and just wasn't feeling it. My legs weren't there and my head was just spinning so instead of 8 miles I made it just under 7 before deciding to call it. I thought I was feeling terrible but actually eeked out a 10:07 4th mile although it was mostly downhill. It does make me feel good to know my downhill running is improving though.

Back to Kona (see? My brain is a wreck). I was only willing to run until noon because the canon was going to fire for the pro men's race at 12:25 my time and I had to be home by then. I made it home by 12 (thanks to a shorter run) and took a shower with my ipad nearby so I could still hear everything. Once the National Anthem ended I shut off the water and got ready to tuck in for a long day. I totally have a dream of going to Kona.

No, not to race, I'm not delusional.

But I want to go for race week one year and I know I will.

The Colonel couldn't quite understand why I enjoy watching people swim since they all look the same and the announcers are just guessing who's who but the swim is kind of my favorite part. It's the first glimpse of the race and something about it just makes me giddy. I was less excited about watching the bike portion since it was going to be 5 hours and I still don't love cycling but of course that didn't stop me. Does it make me a real triathlete that I'm able to watch an Ironman live feed from start to finish?

Let's fast forward through my feelings from every part of the race and just say it was just about everything I'd hoped for. I was sad for my favorite males Tim O'Donnell and Chris McDonald since they didn't have their best days but was happy for Sebastian Kienle who won a much deserved championship. And Mirinda Carfrae...I mean, seriously? She makes me want to work on my run. In fact, I made a plan to do just that. Every athlete put on a great show and left me with a lot of mixed feelings. Especially knowing that in one year (less than one year now!) I'll be putting on my own Ironman show.

Speaking of my Ironman...

I haven't dropped out yet so that's a plus! I'd be lying if I said the thought hasn't already crossed my mind because I'm so freaking scared. I'm hoping it'll pass but I'm really having a hard time coping with what's to come right now. I'm hopeful that once my marathons are out of the way and I get a few weeks to just be I'll be recharged and ready to get after it. I already feel like I'm not doing enough and that's not a good place to be so far out.

I did finally decide on a coach and I'm really excited about him. He seems to have the patience of a Saint which he'll need with me and seemed genuinely interested in my improvement after this year's Ohio River Swim. He's also not exactly thrilled about my 2 marathons in 3 weeks coming up or my interest in a spring marathon which tells me he cares at least a little. More about him later.

I took Dottie (my bike) and the trainer to their new home in our upstairs weird attic room. I'll take some pictures once it's all finished but I think it's going to make a really nice training space for the winter. It's felt like what I imagine preparing a baby nursery feels like and I'm actually a little excited to get to training up there!

In my head I was all set to get my next tattoo. And as usual I immediately wanted to go swimming and decided against it. Then I thought if I got it now I'd have plenty of time to get back in the pool. But now I'm all frantic and thinking I must swim because Ironman. Oy vey.

And finally, the marathons...

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this already but just in case, I'm running the Indianapolis Marathon Saturday then on November 8th I'm doing Rock n Roll Savannah with my friend Erin who runs a lot faster than me is very nice. It'll be her birthday and because I'm awesome I'm sacrificing my body to celebrate with her during a death march through the streets of Savannah, GA.

I haven't spent nearly enough time behind a bib this year so to say I'm ready to race is an understatement. I also have the pretty lofty goal of cutting 11 minutes off of last year's time. I feel like I'm in better shape and I recovered from each run much better this year than last but it's still a tall order. 11 minutes is like...a mile. So there's that. However I don't have a broken leg right now (knock on wood) so I'm hoping that'll help me out too.

I really am excited. But anxious is probably the best word to describe it. One minute excitement, the next nervous, the next almost dreading it. I need to remember why I do this and why I love marathons. I have to remember that I do this for fun. I enjoy this and it my hobby that I've chosen for myself. The only expectations out there are mine so I need to be in control of them.

I hope this wasn't as much of a cluster as it feels like it was. More importantly, what should I be doing this week? Taper doesn't know if it wants a nap or to rearrange furniture...